A Birthday Celebration!

Tonight we celebrated the birthday of one of our residents. It was exciting as we prepared the special meal she had requested and made the preparations to rejoice in her life. The menu: Pizza, watermelon, Dr. Pepper and chocolate cake—all of which are a special treat at VOH.

For me it is especially exciting because this resident has been here for quite a while. We have had many new girls come since my time here, and especially over the past few weeks and I am just starting to get to know them. However, this young lady has been here for a number of months and I’ve been able to see her personality (character, life, heart- not sure if personality is best word) and get to know her some. The coolest part is watching her put into practice the things she is working on in counseling. As I thought about all of that and the silly memories and laughs we have had, as well as some challenges, I just cannot help but smile. I am SO thankful for her and her life, and that The Father brought her here. I have LOVE for her, and I’ve only known her a few months.

Reflecting on that and looking over the group of women seated at dinner I just thought about the love the Father continues to give me for these residents. Honestly, I struggle to love them on some days. I look across the table or the classroom and am frustrated or tired and do not want to love them like I should, but that’s when the Father reminds me to pray that I would love them. And it is moments like tonight when I can see the love He has given me for them, and that is beyond my own ability.

When I look at the one who died for me and His love for me, I can have the love I need to love others, even when they hurt me. His love for me should be my fuel to love others, by His love I am compelled to love others. A passage I am so thankful for that has helped me in this is 1 Peter 2:21-25: 

21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Chr*st also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, 22 who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; 23 and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; 24 and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. 25 For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.

 

The passage doesn’t even say the word “love,” but it certainly shows it! And it is because of the Son's willingness to suffer and die for me two thousand some years ago that I can love others, even when I don’t feel like it or cannot do it on my own. I can “die to sin” and my desires to just do what is best and easiest for myself, and instead “live to righteousness” and practice the liberty The Son has given me to love and serve others. I am free and enabled to love in ways far beyond what I imagine I would be able to as I am willing to obey the one who saved me!

That is something to celebrate! 

Run! Run! Run! As fast as you can!

Run and sign up for Race for Hope! As an intern at Vision of Hope I have a Race for Hope team and I'd love to have you join me as a team member or sponsor.

What is Race for Hope? It's a 5k/10k walk run that gives the proceeds to support Vision of Hope. It will be held on June 14, 2014

What is Vision of Hope? It is a residential treatment center that uses Biblical Counseling to help young women who struggle with eating disorders, unplanned pregnancies, addictions, and self harm located in Lafayette, IN (http://www.faithlafayette.org/voh).

Can I participate if I can't make it to Lafayette? Yes! I am forming a team of people across the nation. You can run/walk anywhere, or be a "virtual" team member and not walk at all. As a team member you'd have the priviledge of sharing  about Vision of Hope to others and getting them to sponsor you. You could also particpate by being a sponsor and giving to my team!

Why should you join? So that you can be a part of what God is doing here at Vision of Hope and also get the word out to others.

How do I do it? Great question! Check out this page and make sure to join my team (Across the Nation Hopefuls) http://www.faithlafayette.org/raceforhope

Open Heart Surgery

It's funny how much I under-estimate the room I have left to grow. In my mind it's pretty easy to rationalize that I'm doing ok. I usually spend time talking to the Father and reading HIs Word and I haven't committed any crimes (other than speeding), so I can't be all that bad I tell myself.

As a follower of the One who is completely perfect, I've come to realize that I am so wrong! My Father has been good to show that to me and I'm so thankful. He shows me my sinful, self-centered, prideful heart.

Since coming to Vision of Hope I feel like it's been an overhaul on my heart. My chest has been ripped open, my heart has been revealed and the work has intensified.

I guess I knew it was coming. Vision of Hope is a place for helping at-risk young women, which is intimidating in itself, but after the application process I realized the hardest part would be seeing my own heart and working on that. I was warned, but still it has been challenging.

To help illustrate this a little bit, here at Vision of Hope and F*ith Ch*rch the focus is really put on the motivations. That means that rather than just talking about not doing _______ (which could be cutting, binging and purging, drinking etc.) We instead focus on what they are seeking or looking for when they do these things. It might be comfort, control, acceptance, escape, pleasure, or any number of things (and to clarify, this isn't just something that one can look at and diagnose in someone else, without the full picture. That would be unwise, however as the counselor spends time with the counselee they can help them identify this.) When I was exposed to this teaching, my toes got stepped on. I may not struggle with the same outward sins like our residents do. I have never had an unplanned pregnancy, or an addiction to drugs or alcohol, but I do struggle with being anxious when I have an approaching deadline. I respond in anger and frustration toward others. I don't always have a good attitude when I am assigned a task I don't like. When I start to think about it, my MOTIVATION is the exact same as those struggling with much more obvious sins. I can't blame my circumstances and say, "They made me  respond in anger and frustration" because really, IT'S MY OWN HEART. At times it is because i was wanting to be in control, and when I didn't get my way I responded sinfullly. Other times I am upset because I didn't look good in front of others that I wanted to accept me... the list could go on.

To summarize, what I think is just a small sin, really shows my heart is sinful and my chief desire is something very different than pleasing my Savior (2 Cor. 5:9). It's very exposing. I'm not a good person who does nice things, nope I am a sinner who often does nice things for the praise of others. I young woman who can't get through the day without thinking about self for even 10 minutes. No I'm not good, I am wretched. My chest has been opened up and there is nothing left hidden. And unlike open heart surgery, I can't just pay someone to fix it for me, it's going to be a process for the rest of my life (Phil 1:6)

The best part, however, is that it is for my good. In the moment it seems really scary and painful but the goal in the end is me being more like my Savior. And even better than that, the Father is glorified through me!!! I can show others His goodness and the change in my life shows what His character is! Somehow, He is going to turn this sinful mess into something that shouts out to others, "The Father is real, because there's no way Timea could have done that on her own!" and "The Father is gracioius, because somehow that awful sinner Timea just got blessed again!" being used by Him, there's no better calling than that! 

This post was written originally around 3/1/2014

A Delayed Start

It's been months since I last posted, but the thought has been on my mind for quite some time! I kept saying that I'd get around to it, but it never happened. Today I hope to stop the delay and get back to sharing what the Father has been up to in my life!

Thanks for your patience with me and I hope to get more consistent in my updates!