Perspective

It is better to go to the house of mourning than to go to the house of feasting, for this is the end of all mankind, and the living will lay it to heart. Ecc. 7:2

This passage came to my mind today as I watched the video of Beth Hopper's funeral. Beth was a woman from Faith Ch in Indiana who fought cancer for the past few years and died just weeks ago from cancer in her 30's. I did not know her personally, but I was able to hear her story last year as she shared it with a woman's group. (Check it out here).

It is so true what Soloman wrote, that going to a funeral gives us perspective and reminds us of how our lives are so brief. 

I have been struggling this week to trust. I wasn't here a few days when I became scared. Did I make the wrong choice? Should I have done something that was more secure? Should I have moved here without a job? Will I get a job?--And it was certainly irrational, especially considering that I had not even been here long enough for most of the companies to review my applications! However, those crazy irrational feelings quickly take over. 

It is so easy to lose perspective. As I sat and watched that video today, the thought was solidified in my mind--My Father has a BIG plan in place, and He has supplied me with EVERYTHING I need to do it! He is not sitting questioning like me, "What will I do with Timea?" "How will she ever survive?' "Is there ANYWHERE she can work?" No, He told me
"His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence," 2 Pet. 1:3.

I am so thankful that my Father brings me the truths I need just when I need them, and doesn't sit back when I am scared or doubting, but He is so quick to use His Word and His people and remind me of the truths I need to know!

The Move

One week ago I worked my last day at Vision of Hope in Lafayette, IN and said all my goodbyes before a very early departure on Wednesday morning. It was such a crazy week of high emotion for a number of reasons. The hardest part was leaving friends who I have grown to know and love for the past year and a half, where I have never been gone longer than ten days in that time!
I knew that this time would be so different. Every time I told another friend "See you later," was hard, but the most challenging ones were my fellow interns. Some of them knew me since the first time I visited Vision of Hope and all were ones who I had worked alongside day after day and even in the middle of the night. There is nothing like having people who have your back even when it's late or inconvenient, and ones who love you even after they've seen you at your worst! There were many moments we recalled as I told each one goodbye. I loved remembering stories of tears together and hard days as well as joys and victories.
As I hit the road I just spent a lot of time talking. I talked to my Father about my hurt and no longer being so close to such good friends and a great job. But I also got to share with Him my anticipation for moving to Charleston. Actually, as I drove I was getting videos of possible rental places from my future roommates as they toured places in our soon to be home, Summerville, SC! Such a strange mixture of emotions! But I am so thankful for good friends worth missing as well as the adventure ahead of me!
And that adventure is what I want to let you in on! My sister Tab and her husband Robb have been serving in their church in Lynchburg, VA and are being sent by their church to plant a church. They have been prayerfully considering moving to do this in the Charleston area for a year and half, and over a year ago they invited me to join them. As I heard them sharing about it more, I decided I wanted to join in October. What really drew me in was how they wanted to do this. They said they wanted a team of people in 
Charleston to be working jobs and sharing the G*spel in their workplace and community and starting small group B*ble studies. That got me because that is exactly what I want to do oversees someday! And that is how any Follower should live!

So right now my main focus is job searching. Thankfully God has provided us with a rental place (me and 3 other girls on the team),
I would love your prayers for this and for boldness on my part to live out my faith and for the Spirit to stir up interest and questions in the people I will interact with!

Testimony

This is a blog posted on Vision of Hope's Blog that I am reposting (see this link for the original http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/voh/2014/09/21/all-about-him-timeas-story/):

It has been a true honor and privilege so far to hear from our current interns as they share their stories of Christ’s redemption! Today, I would like to introduce you to let another one of our wonderful servants. Timea came to us in January, 2014. She was a missionary kid, born in Hungary. She was raised in upstate New York and the Czech Republic. Timea learned about Vision of Hope while attending Word of Life Bible Institute in New York, and God led her here!
We are very thankful for Timea and the time she has spent with us so far. Please be encouraged as Timea shares about how God radically took hold of her life:
“As a young child my parents told me of a God who made everything. I also learned that the bad things I did separated me from Him and soon learned about the way that I could know Him and be in a relationship with Him through Jesus’ death and resurrection. When I was 4 years old, I put my trust in Jesus’ taking my sin and my punishment to be saved.
Although I was surrounded by good teaching from the Bible, it wasn’t until I was 13 that I really started to care. God answered some of my prayers and I saw His care for me personally. He also gave me friends who really loved God. Through time with God and godly friends, God began challenging me and teaching me what it meant to be a Christian and to follow Him.
In High School, some of my beliefs about God were really challenged in some difficult situations. At the time, I was trying to figure out how what I had learned my whole life about God lined up with what I saw happening. I praise God that in that time He brought a wise, mature Christian woman into my life who loved God. As she spoke about Him, I saw His heart and His love in the stories that were so familiar, and it gave me a love for Him. She also shared with me the importance of keeping the truths of God and the Gospel in my focus at all times. Doing this over the past few years, my relationship with Him has continued to deepen. He continues to bring me through challenges and reveal my sinful heart, but as I go back to the teachings of the Gospel and His Word I have a foundation and a place to go with my questions and difficulties.
As God is working in me now, I hope to continue to look more like Jesus and bring glory to God, so that is what I am trying to focus on for my next steps. My dream job would be to be a missionary overseas.”
I also asked Timea to share what she has learned so far during her 8 months as an intern. She answers:
“I don’t even know where to start! There are so many things God has taught me. The most foundational one in my time here is learning why I do things the way I do and why I struggle with sin—my desires! James writes that it is our desires that make us struggle with sin. Since being at Vision of Hope, I’ve begun to see what often are my driving desires. It’s been a difficult and uncomfortable learning experience to see my own sin and my desires to please myself and make myself look good, more than I want to please God and make him look good.”
Thank you, Timea, for sharing your story and reminding us that it’s not about what we want – it’s all about God! Keep checking in to read more stories of God’s transforming love!

Walking in the Light

This is a blog posted on Vision of Hope's Blog page (http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/voh/2015/03/17/walking-in-the-light/) that I am re-posting:

Walking in the light is a biblical concept that is easily overlooked. 1 John 1:7 states: “But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.” Obviously, the Bible commands us to practice walking in the light, and we know that whatever the Bible majors on, we should major on as well.
Walking in the light means not covering up your sin in order to look good to others. The next verse in 1 John 1 tells us that, “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” (v. 8) Every one of us sins, and being a part of the body of Christ means that we are willing to be vulnerable with one another for the purpose of experiencing deeper fellowship and seeking accountability. In order for us to be like Christ, we must be willing to not only be humble and genuine, asking for help when we need it, but also to help other believers to become more like Christ as well.
As mentioned in our previous blog post concerning our internship program, ladies who go through our internship also come away with many ways in which that have learned and grown in their walk with the Lord. Oftentimes, the most convicting and challenging experiences as an intern happens within a counseling session in which the intern is simply observing. It is amazing how God works to place interns into observation positions within a counseling session where the counseling that is being presented is exactly what that intern needed herself.
Sharing one of these instances, one of our current interns, Timea, shares her experience in a counseling session she recently had the opportunity to observe. To read Timea’s full story of salvation and how she came to VOH, click here. Now, be encouraged and challenged, as Timea shares what she has been learning about walking in the light:
“Interns have the privilege of sitting in on counseling when the individual residents meet with their counselors every week. We get to observe the same counselor and counselee each week and assist the counselor by writing the legal notes they have to complete. I know that I get into counseling sessions based on my availability, however, I know that ultimately God is the one who places me in the sessions. So many times the counsel I am hearing is something I need, and I know that is no accident. One lesson that has come to mind a lot recently is ‘walking In the light.’ The counselor required the counselee to weekly list 10 ways they had been transparent and vulnerable with other believers. One day he explained why he assigned this. He said it is like the fundamentals of a sport. You do this over and over again, because it is foundational to the sport. If you do not have this basic skill, you will not be able to do well in the sport or get better. He explained walking in the light is foundational to Christian growth and life. It was something I had never heard before in that way and I realized how little I did that. Just this week God has been showing me areas of sin in my life and my need to be open with other believers about my struggle and walk in the light. I am so thankful our God orchestrates every happening in my life and even the counsel I need to hear.”
None of us have it all together, so we should never try to put on the facade that we do. This is an important concept for believer to apply, and Timea’s story shows how much God wants us to keep these thoughts in mind. How awesome that we have seen how God works not only in the lives of the counselees here at VOH, but also in the lives and heart of the observers as well! For more information about our internship program, contact Jenn Heikkinen at jheikkinen@faithlafayette.org.

Not so Black and White

If you were to look at my room especially when I was younger you would have seen that many things did not have a particular spot or all fit neatly--at least not in my teenage mind. The floor seemed just a good a spot as any for my clothes and the dresser top was always a great place to pile the things a little too precious to place on the floor. Even today, I struggle to put things back where they belong ( but thanks to college roommates, this discipline has become more of a norm for me). Now, when it comes to how things work in my mind, I am quite the opposite; I want everything to be neatly categorized.

I'm not sure I knew that about myself in high school. Rather, I thought that my room was a reflection of my thinking, but it was far from the truth. What has shown me this more than anything is my time at Vision of Hope. 

When I arrived here I had a lot of questions. When I began asking questions I had my notepad out and was ready to take notes. To my surprise though, I was regularly told "well, it depends..." 

What?!? In my head I just could not figure it out! No! I want a hard, fast answer. Why does there have to be options or differences? Why can't it all just fit into a neat little box?

Well that was week 1. Right now I am at month 6, and I often ask myself or someone else a question, and I realize that there is not a clear answer for everyone! 

Instead of finding my questions answered in neat boxes, I find myself in this place in between. Instead of being given an answer, I am left with unanswered questions. 

Well that is not easy! Nope. It's actually some hard work. Searching, and asking and seeking wisdom.

But it's such a worthwhile effort! 

In my black and white mind, I am quick to judge. I see something and determine it based on my perspective? 

Sadly, I often misjudge. Learning to not judge, but to ask questions leads to building relationships rather than tearing them apart has been a difficult process.

In my black and white mind, I am easily frustrated because things do not go my way.

When I am willing to let go of my agenda, I can find joy because I often do not have the only or the best way.

In my black and white mind, I try to control how things happen in my system.

As I let go of controlling everything in my mind and making it fit my plans, I can rest in letting The Father be in control, because I was not made to be in control (even though some days I want to be).

Today problems came up as I went through my day, and it did not all go my way and questions did not have easy answers. But as I learn to find a balance I can be ok with challenges and unanswered questions because I know Who is in control and I can trust Him. Also, I can be ok with not having the answers and not being perfect in the eyes of others, because I recognize that I am not the ultimate, I know the Ultimate, and thankfully He is doing His job, and I do not have to be perfect, He's got it.

(And somehow, what may seem chaotic in my mind, He makes into something awe-inspiring and beautiful)

Some time away

Back at it again!

 I've been doing some traveling recently, and hope to get back to writing soon! 

Til then, here are some of my favorite photos of my times away.

Kellie and Joe's Wedding

Travis' Graduation

Time home in NY with family

A Birthday Celebration!

Tonight we celebrated the birthday of one of our residents. It was exciting as we prepared the special meal she had requested and made the preparations to rejoice in her life. The menu: Pizza, watermelon, Dr. Pepper and chocolate cake—all of which are a special treat at VOH.

For me it is especially exciting because this resident has been here for quite a while. We have had many new girls come since my time here, and especially over the past few weeks and I am just starting to get to know them. However, this young lady has been here for a number of months and I’ve been able to see her personality (character, life, heart- not sure if personality is best word) and get to know her some. The coolest part is watching her put into practice the things she is working on in counseling. As I thought about all of that and the silly memories and laughs we have had, as well as some challenges, I just cannot help but smile. I am SO thankful for her and her life, and that The Father brought her here. I have LOVE for her, and I’ve only known her a few months.

Reflecting on that and looking over the group of women seated at dinner I just thought about the love the Father continues to give me for these residents. Honestly, I struggle to love them on some days. I look across the table or the classroom and am frustrated or tired and do not want to love them like I should, but that’s when the Father reminds me to pray that I would love them. And it is moments like tonight when I can see the love He has given me for them, and that is beyond my own ability.

When I look at the one who died for me and His love for me, I can have the love I need to love others, even when they hurt me. His love for me should be my fuel to love others, by His love I am compelled to love others. A passage I am so thankful for that has helped me in this is 1 Peter 2:21-25: 

21 For you have been called for this purpose, since Chr*st also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, 22 who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; 23 and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; 24 and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. 25 For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.

 

The passage doesn’t even say the word “love,” but it certainly shows it! And it is because of the Son's willingness to suffer and die for me two thousand some years ago that I can love others, even when I don’t feel like it or cannot do it on my own. I can “die to sin” and my desires to just do what is best and easiest for myself, and instead “live to righteousness” and practice the liberty The Son has given me to love and serve others. I am free and enabled to love in ways far beyond what I imagine I would be able to as I am willing to obey the one who saved me!

That is something to celebrate!